Thursday, June 5, 2008

Hydrotherapy

Well, I finally did it.  I've been told to look into this for about 12 years and I finally did it, partly because my guts were a mess from Vegas.  I got a colonic.

For those who don't know, a colonic is basically pumping water into your colon and intestines to flush your system.  It's supposed to improve digestion and help reduce colon cancer among other things and I needed it.  

(NOTE:  For those who don't like graphic toilet humor, stop reading now)

My experience was pretty much summed up in this video, since it was the exact place I went to. I first met with my hydrotherapy specialist for about 30 minutes talking about my diet, eating habits, and why I was hear.  After 30 minutes we'd come to the conclusion I'm the perfect candidate because of the fact that about 60-70% of my meals are take out meals.  

So we go into this room where there's this huge machine and she shows me how to take this plastic tube about the size of a pencil and stick it up my butt.  Good times...she said to use about half the little package of lube and I won't feel it.  I used 2 packets of lube and I felt it.  It's not the easiest thing in the world to lay on your back with your feet in the air trying to stick a little plastic tube up your ass, but I got it done.  

Next she comes back in and shows me how to start the water flow.  Simple enough.  She said when ever you feel like you have to go, let it go, don't hold it.  I didn't think after 10 seconds I'd have to let it go, but out it came and so proceeded an hour of a diarrhea sensation.  A colonic starts at the bottom of your rectum, fills up with water and you let it out down in to a collection basin.  As you clean your colon, it goes further and further up into your intestines cleaning as it goes.  It was actually quite amazing thinking about the fact that poop from the 80s was coming out of me.  

Although it seems gross and unlikely that you would want to do this after reading this, after an hour it felt like I had taken the best dump of my life.  Now John Wayne when he died had something like 40 pounds of poop in his intestines.  With that in mind I was hoping I would drop about 10 pounds, which is quite normal for people who are "stuffed".  Well, I only dropped about a pound, but I still felt great and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.  I mean you have to go into it with an open mind and be able to laugh at yourself and that's what I did.  The only weird part was after it was done, I was told to come back to see what was "flushed" out of me.  Now the women he was my specialist was younger than I was and somewhat cute for being a Vegan and into all sorts of holistic and natural remedies (those people are always weird to begin with).  But unexpectedly we stared at my poop that had just come out of me for about 5 minutes and we talked about it.  GREAT TIMES!

I come to find out, that based on my poop, my digestive track is very healthy as is my colon upon gazing at what came out of me.  YES!  That was about the only weird part really, talking about my poop.  Not something I do everyday.

Would I recommend it?  Ya, if you're having some problems it's actually not that bad of a time. I even talked Jarod into having it done this week too so we'll see what he says about it. 

As for working out?  I'm waiting until next week to see if my foot will calm down.  I just have no desire right now to be at school working out.  Once I get to MN and have nothing else to do I'll be fine.

No comments: